Tearful Jon Gruden apologizes for his emails, wants to return to NFL: “I am a good person”

With tears in his eyes, former Raiders coach Jon Gruden said he’s ashamed of his inflammatory emails an NFL investigation exposed last year but he’s hoping both for forgiveness and another chance to return to the league.

“I get choked up, because there’s a lot of misunderstanding out there right now … what you read, what you hear, what you watch on TV,” Gruden told reporters and an audience at Arkansas’ Little Rock Touchdown Club on Tuesday.

The 59-year-old Gruden addressed his forced resignation as Raiders coach last October after his racist, misogynistic and homophobic slurs in emails from 2010-2018 were revealed.

“I’m not gonna say anything but honest things here,” Gruden told the audience. “I’m ashamed about what has come about in these emails, and I’ll make no excuses for it. It’s shameful.

“But I am a good person, I believe that. I go to church. I’ve been married for 31 years. I got three great boys. I still love football. I made some mistakes, but I don’t think anybody else in here hasn’t. And I just ask for forgiveness, and hopefully I get another shot.”

Gruden has a pending lawsuit accusing the NFL and commissioner Roger Goodell of sabotaging his career by allowing the emails to be leaked.

“I don’t really want to say too much,” Gruden said. “I don’t really want to be involved in this, honestly. I want it to all go away. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anybody. It’s something that’s still in the news, and I want this to all be about the games and the players.”

Gruden was in the fourth year of a 10-year, $100 million contract to coach the Raiders when he stepped away after revelations from the NFL’s investigation into the Washington Commanders’ “hostile workplace culture.” Gruden’s emails to former Raiders executive and onetime Washington executive Bruce Allen were among the items from the investigation that were reported.

Gruden’s lawyers assert the NFL and Goodell were looking to destroy the coach’s “career and reputation” by conducting a “malicious and orchestrated campaign” to apply pressure to end Gruden’s tenure with the Raiders.

Gruden’s second stint with the Raiders was a disappointing one even before the email controversy led to his undoing in Las Vegas. The Raiders were just 22-31 in his three-plus seasons.

Gruden, who had success in his first NFL head coaching job with the Raiders from 1998-2001, won a Super Bowl title at the Raiders’ expense while beating Oakland 48-21 in the Super Bowl in 2003 while coaching Tampa Bay. He still lives in Tampa Bay, where he told the audience he still helps high school players and teams in the area.

But he’s hoping for another shot at coaching in the NFL, or perhaps a return to the broadcast booth.

“It’s tough,” Gruden said. “It’s really tough. (Football’s) in my blood. It’s really what I’m all about. I miss the journey. You know, putting a team together, developing a team, the ups and downs that football brings. I miss all that.”

Before rejoining the Raiders in 2018, Gruden was an analyst on ESPN’s Monday Night Football from 2009-17. He said Tuesday that even talking about football again would appeal to him.

“I’ve had some good jobs, so hopefully there’s one out there for me.”